Protect Me
by Porcelain-Marionette
Summary: Being invisible isn't always a good thing and it's starting to eat at Matthew. Possible yaoi, Franada pairing. Song fic.
1. Snow falls and Ice hotels

Disclaimer: I do not own the Hetalia Characters nor do I do I own the song I used. I'm simply a fan.

Song: Protege Moi by Placebo (Note: The song is originally in french. I did translate most of it to suit my needs and so people who didn't speak french would be able to appreciate it. It's a very wonderful song.)

Characters: Canada (Matthew, Mattie) and France (Francis)

Little Intro: Thank you for deciding to read this, if you aren't a fan of yaoi then... well please don't post rude reviews. You are entitled to your opinion though, I just don't wish to hear it. ^_^

Please leave a review! I would like to know if there's anything I could fix in this, maybe I missed something? If my translation is off I know. I'm not perfect xD let me know though so I can fix it! I hope to actually continue this one depending on the response it gets.

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"C'est le malaise du moment...L'épidémie qui s'étend" The words tumbled off his lips in a hushed voice, breath puffing out in the cold air. A small gloved hand went up, fingers brushing through the quickly fading cloud as if he could catch it.

"La fête est finie on descend, Les pensées qui glacent la raison..." A small grin, he tilted his head and dropped his hands back down to his side. It was the middle of November and freaking cold, he loved it though, the way the snow crunched under his boots. How the ice clung to branches glittering in the morning sun. Making everything bright and cheery in an otherwise dark month. Yes he loved the winter so much more than the summer. Granted the warm months were welcomed, but they were nothing compared to this.

The white bear brushed against his legs, it was such a small bear for his kind. Polar bears were supposed to be bigger and scarier, but not Kumario? No that didn't sound right... oh well.

"Come on let's go home, get some hot chocolate and curl up with a good book, sounds good eh?" The walk back home was much quicker and about as uneventful as the trip out had been. Nothing much ever happened here. It snowed, people stayed it, only the kids went out to play. Throwing snow balls and tobogganing down hills at break neck speeds, building snow forts and... okay so the adults did the same things. Only they did it on a grander scale. He laughed to himself with this, he would have to remember to go the ice hotel once it was finished. They would be starting it about now.

As soon at they got back to the house, hanging his coat up and brushing the snow off the bottoms of his jeans Matthew went to the kitchen and pulled down a sauce pot. His bear had wasted no time in curling up in the middle of the kitchen floor, providing the perfect tripping hazard. After changing the bag of milk he poured enough into the pot for two cups of hot chocolate before sifting through his cupboards for the cocoa. Grabbing two candy canes as well along with one bowl and one mug he poured the boiled milk over the cocoa powered and stirred it with the candy canes. Setting the bowl down on the floor for his bear he joined him on the floor. His own mug cradled in his hands. He was all of two sips in when he heard his door bell chime. Giving his bear a glance he opted to ignore it. He really didn't feel like getting up just then. Who ever it was would assume he wasn't home and would kindly leave. If it was important they would come back. Taking another sip the bell rang again. Then again and again.

Protect me from what I want

Protect me...

By the fourth ring Matthew was up, his mug abandoned on the counter. Stumbling over his own feet as he tried to get to the door as quickly as he could. He couldn't just leave it unanswered after all. It wasn't like he got many visitors anyway. The other nations only seemed concerned with his existence when they needed something. Who was he to deny them help?

It is the disease of the moment,

The epidemic which never ends...

The party is over, we go down,

The thoughts which freeze reason.

His door swung open, blue violet eyes going wide as he took in the sight of the man standing there. He hadn't seen Francis is a while. The man's blond hair was dusted with snow, his cheeks flushed with cold and his lips pale. He cracked a smile at Matthew and raised a gloved hand to ruffle the younger nation's hair.

"Bonjour, mon ami," that greeting made Matthew stammer a reply, stepping back from the door and inviting him in out of the cold.

"F-Francis, what are you doing here? I didn't expect you..." He wanted something, that's all there was too it. Pushing away the feelings of hurt at that thought he shut the front door as the French man took off his boots and coat. Handing his coat to Matthew who hung it up from him.

"Something smells really good, did I interrupt something? Nothing important I hope?" The other blond didn't really wait for an answer as he headed into the living room and flopped down on the couch. Watching Mattie as he followed after him.

"N...No nothing... I just got back from a walk. Francis did you want something?" He normally didn't outright ask such a rude question and it obviously threw Francis for a loop. The man was staring at him blankly now.

"Can't I ever just come visit you without cause?" A shake of his head, no. No one just popped in to visit him.

"No one ever just 'drops by' my place." Maybe the cold had been getting to him, since when was he this rude to people?

"Oh... well... I see. Pardonez mois." He pushed himself up from the couch with this, one fluid motion.

"I just wanted to check up on mon petit lapin." Since when had Matthew become a little rabbit? That nickname made his cheeks flush.

"Y-Y-You're what?!" Oh he hadn't meant to ask that.

"Mon deu Mattieu." Francis' hand brushed across his forehead as he spoke.

"Well I see you wish to be left alone, Je suis vraiment désolé." He turned to leave with this, collecting his coat from the hall closet and pulling his boots back on. The Canadian stood stock still for a long moment of silence, unable to watch Francis leave. Had he just pushed away the one person that had actually wanted to just come see him. Just see him, not ask him for anything, not bug him for help or aid. Just to visit. He probably had. Gaze dropping to the carpet, his red socked feet contrasting with the white he turned as he heard the door open and close. Wanting so badly to stop Francis, but by the time he got to the door the man's car was long gone.

" L'épidémie qui s'étend... The epidemic which never ends." He'd returned to his kitchen, grabbed his mug, now long since cold and had curled up on the floor with his bear. What was his name again? Kumja... no still didn't sound right.

"Well at least I have you, I can't push you away." His head rested on the bear's soft side, the fur ticking his cheek. Soft and warm. This was home. It was what he knew and it was all he was allowed to have. Sleep caught up to him quickly, the soft raising and falling of the body under his head lulling him into dreams.

Cold, shivering, wet, freezing. Every limb ached and he felt so heavy. Icy blue water lapped at his face, pulling him under more and more. His clothes were soaked through and he was struggling to keep his head above water. But his arms felt so numb. He couldn't move them anymore. They slowly failed him and he sank. Like dead weight he disappeared bellow the surface. One thought flashed through his mind. No one will notice. That's the sad thing, he didn't care that he was dying, cause surely that's what this was. No what really made him regret everything was that no one would notice.

No one.

Francis would.

Not one... who?

Francis.

No he wouldn't.

Yes he would, but you pushed him away.

I didn't mean too.

He was the only one that ever loved you.

How do you know?

Trust me I know.

Why?

Did Arthur love you?

No... I was just another ward to him.

Did Alfred love you?

Hardly, I'm just his Northern neighbour...

Does anyone else ever notice you?

Not really.

Francis does.

He was so cold now and so sore, he wanted to give up everything. Just forget it all and fade away. Maybe Francis would notice, he wasn't sure. He hadn't meant to push the man away, he'd meant to stop him from leaving. Why hadn't he said something? So many what ifs and why nots. Nothing he could do about them now.

Sunlight stung his eyes, making him blink, rolling over groggily he heard something tip over. Then he felt something cold and wet sink into his shirt and he shivered. Where... His hand slid across the tiled floor and hit fur. Oh... right. He'd fallen asleep on the kitchen floor with Kumajiro. He was about to sit up when he saw a hand come down next to him, a cloth mopping up the spilled hot chocolate (it had once been hot anyway). Startling he scrambled to sit up and his forehead connected with another.

"Merde! Mattieu that hurt." Blinking back the pain he rubbed his own forehead. The other person had backed off and when he finally focused on their face he was stunned into further silence.

"Don't give me that look, you shouldn't be so surprised to see me here. Mon dieu, do you always sleep on the floor like this?"

"F-Francis?" How had he... oh he hadn't locked the door.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry about last night. I didn't mean to be so rude and... ah the floor... no. I just um... I-I... I don't know." He was floundering for an excuse now as he grabbed for the cloth and finished cleaning up the mess. Ignoring his stained shirt a he got up and fetched a fresh cloth, soaking it in cold water.

"I'm really sorry." He was leaning over Francis, who'd taken up sitting on the floor, his back pressed against the fridge door. Pressing the cloth over the French man's forehead Matthew gave him a weak smile.

"Stop apologizing already, I've gotten far worse treatment from Arthur, I suppose I caught you at a bad time last ni-" he stopped when the cloth was pressed to his forehead. Without a second thought to the action he pulled the blond Canadian into his lap, arms circling his waist. He loved watching how the others' blush grew, his cheeks brightening almost to match the red t-shirt he had on. "I told you, I wanted to visit, so I decided to come check on you in the morning and here I find you on the floor. You were so cute I had to let you sleep."

"W-What are you doing?!" Mattie hadn't been expecting to be yanked down into Francis' lap, the sudden close contact made him squirm and he tried to get up but Francis held fast.

"Francis..." Did the man actually love him? He wasn't sure. He'd gotten used to this kind of behaviour from the man. One moment he was clingy and touching him inappropriately. The next he had forgotten who Matthew was or at least it seemed that way.


	2. Sweet Nothings

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in here, they belong to their wonderful creator.

Notes:

I got it up! (That's what he said... -shot-) Finally. So here you go, hope it's okay. Yes there is sexual content in this chapter... for this story to work the way I want it too... there has to be.

More to come I'm sure, I'm finally getting a good direction for this. I hope you are willing to stick with me here!

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Protect me from what I want

Protect me from what I want

Protect me

It had taken Matthew most of the day to convince Francis to leave, he had ended up resorting to claiming that he had a meeting planned with Greenland. When France had asked what the meeting was about, suggesting that maybe he could come along he had had to come with a lie and fast. Bumbling his way through something about the Arctic summit and that France had nothing to do with the topic. This ended in him apologizing profusely and finally sending Francis on his way with a mason jar of maple syrup.

"Kumaro...." That name didn't sound right, oh well, calling out to his polar bear Mattie pulled on his coat. Tucking his scarf into it before zipping it up and sliding on his mitts.

"Let's go for another walk, we'll go even farther today. It's supposed to be really nice out." The promise of some fresh air made the bear seem more excited than normal as it waited patiently for Matthew to pull his boots on and grab his house keys. He enjoyed his walks, they helped him clear his mind. He could take in the wonders of his land, the crispness of the snow and the warm tickle he got when he stood on the edge of cliff that over looked a vast forest. The trees bare and reaching. Twisting limbs wanting for the sky. The blots of dark ever greens dusted with snow always made the scene that much more pleasing. If he went far enough out he could get away from the city life even the small towns. He could watch the birds of prey circling, trying to find food even in the dead of winter. He loved it. It was peace. If he could hide away in these forests forever he would. As it stood though he needed to keep up appearances. Even if no one really noticed him. The thought tainted his thoughts bitterly and he scowled. His gaze darting away from the snow covered forest and settling on his bear. The animal was pawing at a pile of snow rather intently.

"Come on, we should get home," picking the bear up Mattie held him close, relishing in the warmth of the animal's fur as he buried his face into the bear's neck. The walk back was completely spoiled by that one thought. He had never wanted to look at his beautiful forests and only notice how vast and empty they were. He really was alone here. It wasn't like Al paid much attention to him anymore.

By the time he got back to his house, kicking his boots off into the closet and sliding the door shut he had gotten himself into more of a depressed mood than ever. He had completely failed to notice the extra set of boots by his front door and the extra coat, that wasn't his, hanging up. His bear ran into the house ahead of him, presumably curling up in front of the fire place waiting anxiously for Mattie to start a fire in it. He completely failed to notice the man sitting on his couch, a glass of wine in his hand and a small smirk on his lips. Matthew moved to the fire place and started the fire, throwing on a few extra logs.

"Paupières baissées, visage gris, Surgissent les fantômes de notre lit..." The words made him jump, dropping a log on his foot as he spun around. His mouth was a gape as he finally noticed Francis there. Looking more than content as he took a sip from his wine.

"You remember the song don't you? You sang it to me once, when I left you with Arthur. That annoying swine..." Trailing off in his moment of anger that almost always came when speaking of the English man Francis tilted his glass towards Mattie with a smile.

"F-F-Francis, what the..." Matthew caught himself, picking up the log and putting it back on the pile.

"H-how did you get in... no never mind. Don't tell me I'd really rather not know." Shaking his head with this Matthew inched over to the coffee table and picked up the bottle of wine that Francis had opened. It wasn't one of his. Matthew didn't drink the stuff. It was way to sour for him.

"I'm surprised you remember that song... but... why?" Blue violet eyes looked up at the man who for once in his life seemed caught off guard by the question. That flash of vulnerability didn't last long though. His smooth grin sliding into place again.

"Of course mon amie, I remember it quite well. You are so cute when you get angry and depressed." Well that stung. Setting the bottle down on the table Matthew frowned lightly.

"I had every right to be depressed and angry and I was more angry than depressed thank you very much." He crossed his arms over his chest before joining Francis on the couch. He couldn't kick the man out, it would be rude and as much as he hated to admit it. He owed him a lot. Francis took the closeness as an open invitation. His glass was soon abandoned on the table, his hands pressing Mattie back into the couch. A sly grin painted on his lips.

Matthew was caught between being completely flustered and taken a back or being unsurprised. He had expected it for the most part. Francis always did stuff like this. It wasn't something new. It was the look in the other man's eyes though that made him shiver. His face flushing a deep red and his hands seeking to press against the others' chest in an attempt to push him off. He didn't push though, he couldn't. Francis had moved so he was straddling Mattie, his lips so close to Matthew's that he could taste the sour wine on the man's breath. The smell of it stung his nose as Francis gave a husky chuckle. 

"You are so cute when you blush mon petit lapin," his words tickled his cheek, lips brushing his skin sending a shiver down Mattie's spine. Oh god, he'd never once thought of Francis in any sort of a romantic way and here he was completely unable to shove the man off him like he'd done time and time again before.

"F-Francis what... are you drunk?" his voice came out in a squeak as he felt a hand dip down his chest, searching fingers tugging at the waist band of his pants. Button popping and zipper opening. Blue violet eyes shot open and he stared up at Francis. He'd stopped his butterfly kisses in favour of watching Matthew's face. That look hung in his eyes, more prominent now as he licked his wine stained lips.

"Non, I'm perfectly sober." His fingers slipped passed the waist band of his boxers and Mattie felt himself freeze up. He shrunk back into the sofa as much as was humanly possible, but that only made escape more impossible. Francis grinned at the reaction he got. Every little sound Mattie made urged Francis on even more. Soon his red t-shirt was gone, hands pressing against his heated skin. Fingers playing with every bit of sensitive flesh. He didn't want to push him away. He wanted the attention, he wanted to be noticed.

Matthew's own hands were gripping at the sofa cushions, trying to hold onto something real and substantial as his pants disappeared. He could feel heat pooling in his stomach, a hand was deftly stroking him now. Every little bit of affection pulled small moans from the Canadian's lips.

"Matthieu relax, I'm not going to hurt you I promise mon petit..." How wrong those words sounded. Mattie wasn't sure if he had actually heard any bit of honesty in them. He thought he might have, but if he had it had played coy and fled before he could recognize it for what it was. Lie or not he didn't care. He wanted this more than anything else. Even if Francis just left in the morning and went back to forgetting him. He just needed this one night. Just this one.

"J-just stop your teasing... please..." he sounded so helpless and wanting he couldn't stand himself. Francis had the upper hand here though, he gave into what the man wanted, it didn't work the other way around.

Hands left the sofa pulling and tugging at the buttons on the French man's shirt, when he had all of them undone Francis slipped the shirt off. Skin pressed against skin in a fevered rush, he didn't know when Francis' pants had joined his on the floor but it wasn't long before they were both bare. Breaths coming in rushed gasps, body aching for what he knew was coming. Francis had full control, if he wanted to leave in the morning he would. Mattie couldn't stop him.

"F-Francis... ple-" he was cut off by his own gasp as a finger slid into him, his eyes squeezing shut as he tried to relax. A husky chuckle came from Francis, lips soon connecting with lips. Both of them working desperately to deepen it, fighting for dominance. Francis tasted like wine, a sour yet sweet taste that lingered. He tasted warm and familiar, if those had tastes this was it, this kiss, this moment.

Nails bit into the Francis' back as a third finger was pushed in, stretching playing and teasing. It was sheer torture and the man knew it. Mattie fought back another moan, chest heaving in gasps as he broke from the kiss. He wanted to give back what he was receiving, a hand left the broad expanse of the others' back, slipping between their bodies. Thin fingers running through curls before brushing the others' still hardening member. That small touch got him a shudder out of the man, blue violet eyes sparkling with interest and glee. He trailed the tips of his fingers down, the lightest touch before he closed his hand around him fully. A moan reverberated against his shoulder. Teeth bit into his collar bone make him arch up into the man. His hand worked quickly, Francis was pulling his fingers out, soft murmurs coming from his lips now. Mattie couldn't make out the words.

Lowered eyelids, grey face

The phantoms of our bed emerge

The latch of the gate is opened

Of the hole that we call our home

Somehow his hand had abandoned what it was doing, his legs had wrapped around Francis waist. How had he ended up in the others' lap? The thought faded into the background as he felt the French man push into him. It was gentle and careful but still painful, Mattie gave a small whine as he buried his face into the man's shoulder. Hands clinging to his back desperately as Francis moved them, pushing him back into the sofa till he was over him. He pulled out just enough before pushing back in.

"Mon deiu Matthieu you're amazing..." the words didn't register with him, he was to far gone. Focusing only on the pain turning pleasure.

His lips sought out the others' desperate for the taste of the wine he wasn't fond of. Was it so bad that he wanted everything from this man? He wasn't so sure he could be fine with him just leaving after this. Sure he would have to deal with it, he just didn't know how he would manage. The rest blurred into cried names, whispered sweet nothings, and endless kisses.

When the fog finally cleared from his mind he was alone, curled up on the couch, a thick blanket draped over him and the lingering smell of burning fire wood, wine and sweat tickling his nose. The weight of something on his legs made him stir, sitting up just enough to see his polar bear sleeping soundly on him. The fire had gone out and a chill had set into the room. Francis was gone. He should have expected it but it still hurt. Giving a small sigh he fell back into the couch, curling up into the cushions and hugging the blanket as it were his absent lover.

Paupières baissées, visage gris

Surgissent les fantômes de notre lit

On ouvre le loguet de la grille

Du taudis qu'on appelle maison

Protect me.


End file.
